Fear can block chance for happiness

Can you be honest enough with yourself to admit the things that make you afraid?

If you take the time to analyze your fears, you can gain valuable insight about exactly what makes you tick. When you take a candid look at your fears, you can also understand why you’re probably dissatisfied with some areas of your life. Fears are fantasies because fear itself doesn’t exist – it’s only an attitude. Just as you give life to any of your fears, you can also put them to their eternal rest.

Fears are based on the “what ifs” of life, an acceptance of a fantasy instead of a confrontation of a reality. After all, how many of your fears have actually happened? Even if they did happen, you survived – so they could haven’t been such big deals. You’re always better off confronting a fear and finding if it’s justified, than staying afraid and never knowing.

Some people precondition most aspects of their lives with “what if” negative fantasies. What if I lost some money? What if I ask a dumb question and get embarrassed? Successful people deal only in positive fantasies for the future, with no fear in their interpretation of the same questions. What if I end up making more money? What if the boss thinks my idea is brilliant? What if I ask a dumb question and learn something?

Negative “what ifs” – if they prevent a person from taking action – eliminate positive possibilities. They stop people dead in their tracks, while positive “what ifs” put them on the right track – even if the good expectation doesn’t materialize. For example, a young man fantasizes about asking a young woman for a date. If the fearful thought, “What if she turns me down?” prevents him from asking, he has eliminated any chance for a new relationship. However, if the thought, “What if she says yes?” causes him to try, the possibility at least exists.

Because positive “what ifs” spur people to action, they no longer have to wonder about the answer to their “what if” question. They also don’t look back on their lives, wondering about what might have been. Such positive people also find a way to make any bad things that happen acceptable.

If the young woman isn’t interested in a date, the young man at least gained experience talking to the opposite sex. If a marriage didn’t work, the couple at least had a short chapter of pleasure. If a vacation out of state wasn’t particularly exciting, the traveler at least learned something about a different part of the country.

You cannot be happy if your afraid – you can only be passive. Don’t kid yourself that the absence of pain is equal to pleasure. Remember, the absence of stress is death. Confront your fears, risk some pain, and make pleasure more probable.

Tranz Talkz put positive emotional power in your life:

1. Practice honesty: Pinpoint any fears that hold you back.
2. Practice interpretation: When anything bad happens to you, find something good about it to make it acceptable.
3. Practice expectation: Think only positive “what ifs.”